VOGUE Magazine’s article in the October edition on “Is Having a Boyfriend Embarassing Now?” written by Chanté Joseph explores the growing debate around modern dating and how mindsets towards relationships are changing. While some people view having a boyfriend as limiting, others belive relationships can still be meaningful, highlighting both sides of the discussion.
By Gwen Holman
PRO
We’ve reached a point where having a boyfriend is treated more like a “clutter” problem for your Instagram grid than a human connection. Thanks to the rise of the hyper‑independent “cool girl” trope, actually admitting you care about a guy has somehow become “cringe.” Between TikTok trends and articles in Vogue, the “cool girl” has been rebranded as someone so detached that even admitting she has a boyfriend feels like she’s breaking character. But instead of shrinking your world to fit an aesthetic, a relationship actually expands it. Having a boyfriend doesn’t mean losing your identity; it means adding layers to it. It’s about learning how to communicate, compromise, and see the world through someone else’s eyes, skills that effectively make you a more well‑rounded person, not a less independent one. Beyond just personal growth, there’s a massive practical pro to having a boyfriend: having a “safe space” in the middle of high school chaos. High school is like a full‑time job: constantly putting on a show for your teachers, your classmates, and even your friends. Having a boyfriend provides a rare space where you can finally stop the act and just relax. It’s having that one person who sees the unfiltered version of your life, the messy hair, the stress over a test, or the bad moods, and still loves you just the same. Instead of worrying about how your life looks to people who don’t actually know you, a relationship can give you a dedicated partner who sees the real thing. Having that one person you can grab a meal with or vent to after a bad day is a priceless connection that matters way more than keeping up a specific image. Of course, the fear that a relationship leads to a loss of identity doesn’t come from nowhere. We’ve all seen someone “disappear” into a relationship, ditching their friends and hobbies the second they change their relationship status. But that’s a lack of balance, not a problem with having a boyfriend. Being an independent person doesn’t mean you have to be alone; it means you’re capable of maintaining your own life while letting someone else be a part of it. When done right, a partner doesn’t take away from your “cool girl” status, he just becomes someone who supports the person you were already becoming. At the end of the day, having a boyfriend is really just about having a best friend who is always in your corner. It’s about the inside jokes, the random calls, and having a person to always support you. While you’re perfectly capable of doing everything on your own, it’s a lot more exciting when you have your favorite person doing them right alongside you. There is a specific kind of comfort in having a “default” person to share your day with, whether it’s a big win or just a random, stressful Tuesday. It’s not a social setback to be happy; it’s just proof that you’ve found something that actually matters. Stop performing and start being happy; you’ve earned the right to both.
By Moneli Nazeri
CON
A growing cultural debate suggests that having a boyfriend is no longer automatically seen as something to celebrate. In a Vogue article by Chanté Joseph, this shift is explored through changing attitudes toward relationships, identity, and how people present their personal lives online. The central argument is not that relationships themselves are embarrassing, but that the way they are performed publicly has become increasingly scrutinized in modern culture. One key point raised in the article is that many people now associate being “boyfriend-centered” with a lack of individuality. When a person’s online presence revolves heavily around their relationship, it can be interpreted as prioritizing a partner over personal identity, friendships, or personal goals. In a time when individuality is highly valued, especially among younger generations, this can be viewed negatively. Instead of seeing a relationship as one part of a person’s life, audiences may see it as the main feature of someone’s identity. This contributes to the idea that having a boyfriend is not inherently embarrassing, but becoming overly defined by one can be. The article also discusses how social media culture has intensified this perception. Platforms like Instagram and TikTok have changed the way relationships are displayed and consumed. Constant posting about a boyfriend, whether through photos, relationship “lifestyle” content, or trends centered on couples, can begin to feel performative. Rather than being seen as authentic expression, it may appear as if the relationship is being used for attention, validation, or social status. Because of this, audiences have become more critical of what they perceive as “over-sharing,” especially when it comes to romantic relationships. This creates a cultural pressure where people may feel judged whether they post too much or too little about their partner. Additionally, there is a broader cultural shift toward independence and self-definition. More people are embracing the idea that being single represents freedom, personal growth, and self-discovery. In this mindset, being in a relationship, especially one that is highly visible, can sometimes be seen as limiting or traditional. However, this does not necessarily mean relationships are considered negative. Instead, it reflects a change in values, where people are encouraged to develop their own identity first. Changing expectations around heterosexual relationships mean that traditional roles are being questioned more openly, and even healthy, highly visible partnerships can be judged more critically when one partner seems to shape the other’s identity or social presence. As the Vogue article suggests, the “embarrassment” is not about having a boyfriend itself, but about what it can represent in today’s culture: a possible lack of individuality in a society that increasingly values self-definition and independence over being defined as part of a couple.